Ridding Yourself of the Ghosts of Life’s Past

By KimberlyLifelines, Market Ready
Ridding Yourself of the Ghosts of Life's Past

I can’t pinpoint the exact time of the seismic shift in my life, but I can tell you I am not the same person I once was. That person who I will call “Once Was” wasn’t a bad person or an unfeeling person but she was by all accounts—an incomplete one, until…

As I do so many times, I start out on my tasks laid out before me and then a message comes through or a thought pops into my head that derails me and takes me into a completely different direction. Distraction needs to be managed for sure but sometimes it also needs to be honored. Distraction is that little voice inside of you saying I know you are headed east but first I need you to go west. I use direction metaphors because so many times in my life I was headed one way and then out of nowhere comes the fork in the road.Fork in the road

The fork in the road is a magical place full of possibilities; go left and you end up here, go right and you end up there. My personal belief though is the fork arrives at the same destination, the left or right choice is only the road that leads you there with differentiating experiences along the way. The fork is also where you pick up those ghosts of life’s past. They are all along the path, on the side of the road like hitchhikers thumbing for a ride. Even if we don’t stop to pick them up, you find them on the ride with you, just the same.

…One day “Once Was” did a reconciliation of who was riding in the car (life) with her. I pulled over to the side of my figurative road and made every ghost get out of the car (mind). This was no small feat mind you, once I opened the car doors and the trunk I could see many a ghost lined up on the side of the road that I would now have to reconcile with one by one. I didn’t start in order, I started with the one that lives inside my everyday. It was the biggest one I had to break down first, the one that had plagued my journey for much too long but deserved the most respect because its purpose had made me a different person. It is the ghost I have hated and loved the most. I broke the conversation down into three parts:

  1. I acknowledged what happened with this ghost, I not only acknowledged it but I allowed myself to feel it as well, free of any walls or protections.
  2. I asked my ghost, why? To that I received no answer, sometimes there just isn’t one.
  3. I asked my ghost, what now? I did not wait for a reply because I was the one writing my story from here on out.

Systematically, I repeated the process with the other ghosts, one by one until they were all on their way. I thanked them all for the role they have played in my life until now. I thanked them for the many lessons I had to learn from them. I assured them from this day forward, they would always hold a special place in my heart but they would no longer have a hold on my life. I was free, I was now again—authentic.

 

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Kimberly

Author; Blogger; Self-Proclaimed “Woman” of all trades and Self-Proclaimed “Master” of some! AFAA Certified Group Aerobics Instructor since 1998; MA Licensed Real Estate Agent since 1995; former Certified Financial Counselor and Passionate Advocator of Financial Education for Women. Tech Geek; Home Cook & Most Importantly, Mother of 3, my #1 Reason for Living!!!