So many times I have been guilty, truly guilty of comparing my physical being to others. What I should have been doing besides not wasting all of that time was celebrating my own body. Time and time again we see it, we are told, we are conditioned to it—conditioned to thinking something is wrong with ourselves as we are. Once that sentiment takes hold, it is like a snowball effect. I am no good if I am not a size 4—I am not good enough if I don’t have “the gap” between my thighs—and on and on and on. Before we know it that snowball has gotten so big and we are buried so deep within it just hoping for some kind of lifeline to come along and pull us out.
I am one of the fortunate ones who has a friend—lifeline; whose catch phrase is “own it.” She owns it and then some. However, we have differing opinions of just what we are “owning.” We have sparred many times back and forth about body weight compared to body image. My stance on this matter is unwavering. You can be 50 lbs overweight and have a great body image—BUT if you are unhealthy, have a bad lipid profile, knee pain or back pain for example; having a great body image just doesn’t cut it. Conversely, you could have the ideal weight, BMI (body mass index) and a great body image but if you are unhealthy with any of the stated ailments again having a great body image just doesn’t cut the mustard. There has to be a happy medium in here somewhere, which we will circle back to.
As if there wasn’t enough perceived shortcomings within our snowball, we add the scars internal or external—invisible or visible that life has handed us and our snowball becomes packed that much tighter. I have many invisible, internal scars (I’m sure we all do), some I probably haven’t even recognized or acknowledged yet so I am going to focus on the visible, external ones. For me those come in the form of what I like to call “Battle Scars” or as less commonly referred to (by me anyway) stretch marks. Stretch marks became my nemesis at the early age of 14. I was 105 lbs (maybe less) when I entered high school and 125 lbs when I left. I was 5’2″ and my little frame never stood a chance. Puberty came on fast and furious leaving its tread marks as it drove away chiding me in the rear view mirror. My second dance with stretch marks came 9 years later with the pregnancy and birth of my first child. I was the same 125 lbs, 5’2″ but now added 50 lbs to that already overly taxed petite frame. I know what you are thinking, you brought it on yourself, you weren’t supposed to be eating for six! 😛 Give me a break, it was my first pregnancy! Live and Learn! Well to add to that mix an emergency c-section and erupted incision added way more “battle scars” than I ever bargained for. But that is a story for another day. Which leads me to…
The happy medium we spoke of earlier…the lifeline…where is it? Hopefully for you, right here, right now in these words you are about to read. The title of this article Owning It-Battle Scars And All came from the subsequent 25 years since I gave birth to my first child. I went on to have two more children, both of which I was able to have the “natural way”. I nursed all 3 children and the battle scars did not stop nature from fulfilling its commitment. I went on to teach fitness classes for the last 18 years, my muscles beneath my battle scars knowing no such deterrent above on the surface. I conditioned myself every single day to appreciate what a miracle bodies are thereby pushing out the heat needed to melt that snowball starting from the inside out. I learned to control what I could—healthy eating and exercise lifestyle and most importantly what dialogue I was having with myself everyday. I learned to grab those lifelines wherever I could, which came in the form of my friends, affirmations and 3 beautiful, healthy children. Now when I look and see my “battle scars” I recognize them for what they really are—Strength! I went into this battle we call life, fought and now with the utmost clarity see every stretch mark as what it truly is—A Lifeline. ♥
Kimberly
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