I Would Like To Find Whoever Said “Time Heals All Wounds”

I would like to find whoever said “time heals all wounds” to find out what wound preceded those words…

As the holidays approach and I go about scurrying myself and my time in order to get everything done, I am often stopped dead in my tracks. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is—morning, afternoon, night—it is always there. The it I am referring to as I can’t think of anything else to call “it” is grief. One of the definitions of grief from onelook.com is: intense sorrow caused by loss of a loved one (especially by death). I like that definition because loss is loss and can be individualized to the self. My loss is the death of my Mother—my stability in this life.

The following are the opening lines in my book and is the lifelong premise for Woman Market Ready: For years I have preached to my friends “life is unpredictable.” People leave you, you leave people and most sadly loved ones pass away—You must be “Market Ready“, because you never know when you will have to go back on the Market—Life is the Market.

My personal motto, for as long as I can remember, with regards to relationships ending is: I don’t want you one minute longer than you want me. As long as the person I loved was out in the world happy, even if it wasn’t with me, I could appreciate the experience and the love we shared together then move on. That all worked out well for me until—my Mom died. I was always prepared for relationships to end and could “control” how it affected me until this one ended.

It has been a little over two years of—time—since my Mom passed away and the chains of grief around my heart have tightened not loosened as promised by the notion–time heals all wounds. What do you do when death ends a relationship and more specifically the most significant relationship you have ever had? Time itself dictates the necessity to move on to keep going forward as we all know once a moment has passed you can’t go back. Your family & friends want you to move on as they are impervious to the invisible chains around your heart bounding you to grief. You want to move on, I know my personality dictates a move on drive, but exactly how to when the person no longer exists in the only realm we know, how? How do we break those chains that bind us?

I would like to find whoever said “time heals all wounds” to find out what wound preceded those words. A good friend once told me a therapist’s job is to ask the questions that lead you to come up with your own answers as the answers we seek are usually inside us. I replied, that is great in theory as is the saying “time heals all wounds.” What wounds preceded those words or was the term wounds meant to be all inclusive? I suppose a simple search on the internet would give me some kind of conclusion to the answers I seek on the lineage of those words but I somehow think it will not bring me the comfort and healing I so desperately need.

Maybe it is only time that will lead me to the answers I seek and however they manifest—internally or externally? Maybe my wound of origin will continue to heal from the inside out? Maybe those chains of grief around my heart will start to dissipate link by link with time? Definitively, I am left with a whole lot of maybes but that is a tangible start.

I would like to find whoever said “time heals all wounds” as for now, it hasn’t.

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Kimberly

Author; Blogger; Self-Proclaimed “Woman” of all trades and Self-Proclaimed “Master” of some! AFAA Certified Group Aerobics Instructor since 1998; MA Licensed Real Estate Agent since 1995; former Certified Financial Counselor and Passionate Advocator of Financial Education for Women. Tech Geek; Home Cook & Most Importantly, Mother of 3, my #1 Reason for Living!!!

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