How Do You Support Someone When You Don’t Support Their Views-Taking Off The Filter

This topic came from two different sources in one day—the universe saying: hey, I think you need to address this. Ok, universe, I’m listening.

First of all, I have to say I have been very blessed to be surrounded by some very enlightened people. With that being noted, I secondly have to say I am also very surprised that relationships of any kind still exist. The old adage: you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family is becoming or has become such an antiquated notion. Technically, no you cannot choose your blood lines but you can choose at a certain point in life how or if you will interact with them. The same holds true for friends. As we age and have different life experiences our filters of the world and relationships start to change. The bonds we once shared with family and friends based on similar life experiences have now become a part of our history as perhaps a catalyst for the future or another chapter in our life books that is now read and closed. Relationships are third in the hierarchy of needs, though I theorize they are interwoven into the first two—Food/Water/Shelter & Safety/Security— as I don’t believe any of those can exist without the other. People need people as they need the air they breathe.

There isn’t much that keeps me up at night, normally. As of late a few life situations have encumbered the sound sleep I am so gratefully accustomed to. This interruption however, has given me ample time to contemplate the situations at hand and come up with a few solutions that I hope will benefit us all. Which brings me back to the questioned posed to me.

How do you support someone when you don’t support their views?

Separate the view from the person. I know easier said than done. Whole relationships have been torn apart over perspective views. Think about this, chances are if you decided to forge a relationship with an individual, what you like about them isn’t usually, if at all, one dimensional. One view is not who they are. Switch to the multi-dimensional view of a person and it becomes easier to support the person even if you don’t support their view.
Take off the filter. I recently got into a very heated discussion about life and death. It got heated because of my filter. My filter is the death of my Mother. Before her passing, death carried a profound significance but no filter. As I began to realize in the course of the conversation that I was getting myself heated up because of my filter, I was able to take a step back, take off the filter and come back to a place of peace. When I put this into practice I began to recognize I had a lot of filters and only by removing them, when I could, I created win-win situations. Life is short and every second you waste is one you will never get back. Use them wisely, take off the filter.
Know: You are not wrong and they are not wrong. Repeat. There are very few absolutes in life. Unless someone is coming to you to support them murdering someone or robbing a bank, the chances are that both of you are not wrong, you are both right. It is so simple sometimes that it seems hard.

And if all of the above fails, ask yourself this before you respond.

Bio
Latest Posts

Kimberly

Author; Blogger; Self-Proclaimed “Woman” of all trades and Self-Proclaimed “Master” of some! AFAA Certified Group Aerobics Instructor since 1998; MA Licensed Real Estate Agent since 1995; former Certified Financial Counselor and Passionate Advocator of Financial Education for Women. Tech Geek; Home Cook & Most Importantly, Mother of 3, my #1 Reason for Living!!!