Empathy And Sympathy—Walk a Mile In Another’s Shoes

One day while running a random errand I had been putting off for months—a moment came that most likely changed my perspective on life, I am hoping until the end of mine. The advent of social media has created a broad venue for sharing—”over-sharing”, under-sharing with those cryptic “OMG” posts with no other dialogue and perhaps to the detriment of some, the loss of personal connection. I say “to the detriment of some” because social media for others is one of their only connections and we all need personal connections, the interpretation of social media being “personal” is left up to you.

This is definitely not a pro vs con article about social media rather a compare-contrast to our perspectives of the lives that others lead, without reading all of their chapters first—the ones publicized for the world to see and the chapters that are still a work in progress not quite ready for an audience critique.

I believe there is a hierarchy to everything. I probably have that ingrained because I am an order person. The person who probably knows me best in this entire world phrases me like this: you put everything in a box, clearly marked and labeled. I need order. Her point is of course when she gets frustrated with me is that life can not be packaged neatly at all times and put on a shelf. Like I said, still writing that chapter of my life…work in progress! 😉

You can always look around and find someone worse off & better off than you. I feel sometimes when we are exposed to so much “worse off” than you it is a perspective check but sometimes to the detriment you negate your own feelings instead of feeling them by justifying: some people have it so much worse than I do. Those people still have it worse but now you have put your feelings “in a box” clearly marked and labeled: my feelings don’t matter so many other people have it worse than I do. Which of course now perpetuates a destructive cycle…that nobody wins from.

Ok, so now back to that life changing event and the hierarchy of all things. As the 5 people who may read this very well know, I lost my Mom, Margie 4 years ago. I could have NEVER anticipated the grief that would consume me, I repeat—NEVER! I walked into the place of business I was going to and actively sought out a woman who works there. I know this woman well, it was the first time I had seen her in person since her son, my son’s age, passed away suddenly and without warning. She stood up from her desk to my open arms and we hugged and she immediately started to weep. When I tell you I could feel her broken heart reaching out to mine as a life-preserver in that moment, I wish we could all feel that kind of connection to another. I didn’t let go and she later sent me a message thanking me for that. In kind and truth, I could have held her forever. In that embrace I was healed. My four-year journey of grief had come to an end, hers never will.

Parents are supposed to go before us, children are not. There is no realm in faith that will ever convince me of anything different. I could empathize & sympathize because I am a mother of a son her son’s age and have walked a mile in grief’s shoes—but the hierarchy belongs to her. The encounter didn’t negate my feelings or grief, rather, it put them in perspective. From here on out before I place anything in a box, label it and go to place it on the shelf, I will ask myself this: Did you attempt to empathize & sympathize? Did you walk a mile, at the very least in your mind, to understand their perspective? Then and only then will I proceed to put the box on the shelf or open it and take one more look inside.

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Kimberly

Author; Blogger; Self-Proclaimed “Woman” of all trades and Self-Proclaimed “Master” of some! AFAA Certified Group Aerobics Instructor since 1998; MA Licensed Real Estate Agent since 1995; former Certified Financial Counselor and Passionate Advocator of Financial Education for Women. Tech Geek; Home Cook & Most Importantly, Mother of 3, my #1 Reason for Living!!!